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Sat, Dec. 20th, 2003, 03:58 pm

I feel horrible. I've been laid up in bed since yesterday, when we first arrived at home, and I think I might've caught something from being outside in the cold for so long on Friday. As tough as I'd like to seem, I think I need to admit to myself that I'm still small, and won't be able to run with the older students until it's too late and they're all gone. Mum found a new housenurse for us. I told her to sod off and that I would be fine. For a new nurse, she's very persistent and she left several potions vials by my bed. I haven't touched them, but I'm sure one is a sleeping draught, so I might take advantage of that later. If she's got potions in this house, they're not safe from me, as I'm sure she's got the good ones for mum.

I've been having strange dreams when I'm asleep, as well; Sirius and I are out on the streets together as muggles. I don't know what that means, but he looks despicable, and I'm sure I don't look much better. We'd been reduced to begging, and Evans would walk by and turn her nose up at us. Then, I'd walk into a rather odd looking house, see Lucius in a glittering outfit, and wake up, sweating. That might be the fever, though.

Rodolphus has sent up a small stuffed bear for me (along with a note that said he'd visit, but he didn't want to catch anything), I think it's the first thing he's done for me that hasn't been slightly odd or deadly. I'm still wary of it, though, in case it decides to start spewing strange liquids or come to life and eat my fingers, or something strange. I wouldn't put it past him. He's an odd one, definitely, but I think I'm falling for him. It's his eyes. I could lose myself in them... I'm keeping this bear next to me, it smells just like him.

I think I'm going to just drink this cranberry juice and send an owl to him. Yes. Dad will let me borrow his owl. Must remember to speak to him as soon as my throat is well enough to speak.